Human VS software: an Amman taxi-driver story

When I was in Jordan I randomly met an Italian guy who had been living and working there for the past four years and had learnt Arabic pretty well (or so it seemed, anyway!). We connected on Facebook and the other day I saw this status of his, which of course I wasn’t able to immediately read, so I took a mental note to try and translate it myself at some point

هل إنت الشوفير اللي طلب مني ٥ دنانير من التاج مال لشميساني اليوم؟ و اللي قالي انه العداد خربان؟ و اللي اقسم انه ازا العداد كان شغال بيكون ٥ دنانير برده؟ و اللي قالي انه ازا ما بدي ادفع بقدر انزل؟ و اللي طلب مني دنار بعد ما امشينا ٢٠٠ متر و عبل ما انزلت؟ و اللي صرخ في وجهي لما اعطاته بس ٣٠ قرس؟
ازا إنت هاد الشوفير، بس بدي احكيلك انه بعد شوي طلعت مع شوفير تاني محترم و دفعتله ١.٨٠٠. و بعدين اعطته دنار زيادة عشان كان في كتير ازمة بس هو ولا مرة اشتكى.
يا ريت في تقييم للتكاسي العادية، زي تقييم أوبر.

As it usually does, however, Facebook also offered to translate the thing, and since I was curious I gave it a go. This was the enthralling result:
Are you the driver who asked me 5 Dinars Crown of money to smell pisani today? And who said he the meter is broken? And who swear that if the meter was running 5 Dinars bacon too? And who said he if I don’t want to pay as much as I get off? And the one who asked me d fire after mshynạ 200 meters and bl lands? And the one who screamed at me for giving his only 30 Gout?
If you’re this driver is, but I want to tell you that after a while another driver played with decent pay and inspire 1.80. and then gave him d fire increase because there was many a crisis but he never once complained.
I hope in the assessment for regular Cassie, z ‘ assessment.
Now, the fact that this is an Amman taxi-driver story had my attention a priori from the very beginning. But the involvement of bacon, crisis and regular Cassies was just too much to resist. So here it is, my extremely amateurial attempt of a translation in a human VS software challenge. Enjoy 😛
Are you the chauffeur/driver who demanded from me five dinars from Taj Mall to Shmeisani today? And who told me that the meter was broken? And who swore that if the meter was working it would also get to five dinars? And who told me that if I didn’t want to pay that much I could get off? And who demanded from me one dinar after we didn’t walk 200 meters and […?] didn’t get off? [I think my friend means that after less than 200m he asked to get off, so one dinar for just that is a lot!] And who shouted in my face because I gave him just 30 kurush (i.e. cents)? (which is more than fair!! wow) If you are that driver, I just want to tell you that after a bit I met a second/another -respectable- driver and we [agreed on?] 1,80. And later I gave him one more dinar since there was a lot of traffic but he didn’t complain even once. I’d like to rate the first taxi [like?] you rate Uber.
Wooooow that was INTENSE!!! Annnd my friend has made a ton of spelling mistakes I think, hehe. But I’m very very glad I finally got the real story and I can feel that this made me work not only linguistically but also intuitively. Good stuff 🙂 Yeeeee! Sorry I never know how to conclude my posts 😛 😀
Ah, note: it totally helped that this story was set in Amman and I know the name of places, name of currency and kind of context. Couldn’t’ve made it otherwise. Yay for underground knowledge!

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